How to HEAL after a BREAKUP! Stephanie Lyn Coaching

 

 

 I want to talk about something that is really important if you are  going through a divorce or you are  experiencing a break up or just experienced a heartbreak You know when a relationship ends especially when we've been blindsided or something happens to us that you know up a trail or something like that, that causes a relationship to end and  it is such a difficult thing to go through.

 

  Because we've been just living our lives as if something's happening and then all of a sudden it's gone. It's not happening any more and obviously this is very similar to grieving of a death. And that's why they say when a relationship ends you need to grieve so in this article I want to talk about some things that you can start doing to heal from this heartbreak that you're feeling and really start loving yourself through this healing journey. 

Healing after heartbreak?

Loving yourself after heartbreak these are two things that are a small.loving yourself is a hundred percent Essential towards healing but real true healing comes in the things that you're doing on a day-to-day basis .  Now some people say that time heals all wounds and I actually disagree and one of the reasons why I started coaching was because I was seeing so many people that were staying stuck in anger and blame and unforgiveness and guilt and shame and all of these things because of what someone did to them And I wanted to help them expand their awareness on that relationship in the situation and really learn how to heal from it and be able to you know survive and regain their self-confidence and their self-esteem that they probably lost from that experience and create a new life for themselves and so how  does time heal it. I don't think it does.I think time helps you heal as long as you're doing the things that you need to do to heal

 So in this blog I want to go over some things that you should be doing on a day to day basis to help yourself heal through this process .So right off the bat the biggest thing that I can't stress enough is when you're going through heartbreak, going through the divorce  and when you're ending a relationship,a betrayal has happened and now you have to deal with that

Allow yourself to feel you have to be very patient with yourself in this process and know this is gonna be a process. I need to sit in how I feel and you have to really be with yourself and how you feel every single day, and it is an emotional roller coaster. There are some days where you're gonna be totally fine and you're gonna be over it and you're gonna be in such a good spot and so hopeful and then there are other days where you're gonna be angry and you're gonna be frustrated, and you're gonna have some resentment and you might be a little bitter or you know you might feel like a victim at points.You know it you might have these ups and downs and that's okay. That's okay .That's perfectly normal to have these moments of going back and forth between all of these emotions, so being very patient with yourself, and this process is absolutely huge because if you're feeling a feeling you know let's say we're feeling loneliness or Sadness or anger or whatever it is that we're feeling and we don't sit in it. It's going to stay with us it's never gonna leave us so until you sit with how you feel and parent yourself and love yourself through that feeling and tell yourself the stuff that you need to be telling yourself to move through thatFeeling you're never gonna get rid of that feeling because basically what you're doing is you're just suppressing your feelings

You're not experiencing the feeling and something that I heard a great coach who name's Lisa Ramona, so definitely check her out But a lot of coaches talk about this and a lot of motivational speakers talk about this

And it just is the truth is your feelings are not Who you are you know when these feelings come? We don't live in this feeling It's just a feeling and feelings pass.It's when we stay stuck in the feeling that we suffer.So if you stay stuck in anger if you stay stuck and sadness and all of these feelings and you think that this feeling is who you are then you're going to stay stuck in it, but when you see our feelings coming up of Sadness of loneliness of anger of whatever it is that you don't want to experience?

And you just observe the feeling it's so much easier to

love yourself through it number one and let it kind of take its course and and pass through it's when we .Hold onto the feeling we think that the feeling is just what we're gonna feel forever and ever that we tend to stay stuck inIt or We just suppress the feeling you know a feelings coming through us and all of a sudden

Oh, I don't want to feel sadness here. I go. I'm gonna suppress it um we don't ever get better

We don't ever heal. We don't ever move on from what someone else has done to us

learning how to parent yourself

 

Learning how to love yourself through a feeling that you're having is

absolutely huge, and it's something that I don't think a lot of people are taught

I mean, I wasn't taught it either and most people aren't taught it. They're not taught how do you?

Experience a feeling and and love yourself through that feeling most of the times

Especially you know with children we get angry with them for having a feeling especially if it's a feeling that's inconvenient for us, so If your child is getting angry about something that you think is irrational or completely ridiculous,We invalidate that feeling we don't validate what that child is feeling and I always use the example of my son because he's three and he is in the midst of feeling everything and he has no logic yet really um and he is trying to learn how to process his feelings in some days as a parent

I'm gonna be honest and I know every parent out there can agree with me it is

Frustrating it's not an easy thing to do to parent this child that has not a lot of logic yet

These feelings so now imagine what it would feel like to parent a child through a feeling that has logic.It would be a lot more easier

 

Which is yourself you have logic so logically you know that what you're feeling is a feeling and

We're not because we're not taught as a child how to move through those feelings as an adult

We're not taught

We don't in me we don't do those things as adults for ourselves

and then what we do is just suppress what we're feeling because we didn't learn how to

Move through or feel what we're feeling in a healthy way, so how do we love ourselves?

How do we parent ourself through a feeling one of the examples that I always give is?

You know if you were sitting down with your best friend if you were sitting down with someone that you loved unconditionally

https://youtu.be/9s4fj6KBgts